now, what are you really afraid of?

There is just something about fear that makes most of us shy away from things we always imagined or wanted to do. My first goal in Korea (and one that I’m still working on) was to be able to BE alone and do things alone. A spin off of that goal is to start conquering my fears a little at a time. Mostly I try to conquer my fears of social pressure like feeling awkward or embarrassed to do something.

Examples:

1. Watching a movie alone —> I did this after talking to my BFF Nida abouthow we should all take time for ourselves to enjoy different activities that are deemed to only be done with another person. I watched Transformers3 by myself … in Korea … which is totally taboo. Haha.

2. Bungee jumping —> WTF was I thinking? Let me say this, I will NEVER do that again! However, I don’t regret it and I’m pretty proud of myself for going up and not crying like some little bizotch about how scary it is. I stepped up, clapped a few times (yeah, don’t ask), and just went for it. I did grunt, scream, and curse a lot. Hehehee.

3. Sang Karaoke in front of strangers —> This was definitely my fear of embarrassment. I was in New Orleans with my girlfriends and we were staring at all these drunk fools singing karaoke at the bar. Immediately I was against going on stage, but really, it’s not going to kill you. So, we all got up and did it! Hahaha. Okay, going to admit that it was pretty embarrassing..

4. Dyeing parts of my hair blonde —> I just did it to say that I did it. Why not. I was scared about people thinking I was too old or my coworkers thinking I was being weird. The thing is, once you start conquering a few fears, you just don’t give a shit anymore. Haha.

These might be some lame examples, but they are personal wins for me. I grew up being really shy and then being outwardly too aggressive — I think it’s all due to being scared to do what I really wanted and to do it my way. It’s time to get up and make things happen.

So any time there is a proposal or a challenge in front of me and I feel myself just tighten up, I just try to ask myself why the answer NO was coming out of my mouth instead of the word YES. Then, I just go for it.

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